So my wife and I were playing FTB:Resurrection and we were just playing single and hosting over LAN. When she was hosting, she'd get severe client side lag that would drop her frame rate down to <5, and I would get connection timeout whenever trying to connect to her. When I hosted (same world file transferred over local network) I would get the client lag and FPS drop. At times the server would lag also and kick the non-host out. Using Opis, I found out that her animal farm chunks had major tick rate issues. She only had about 20 chickens and 20 cows. We loaded up some safari nets and killed the excess and the tick rates in those chunks dropped, but we still had client lag. At times I would have 1800 chunks loaded. My math might be a little off, but the 3x3 at spawn and the player loaded chunks around our base (both of use within 10 chunks of each other) shouldn't add up to 1800. In Opis, when I purge the chunks, it drops to 247 and then shoots right back to 1800. No chunk loaders are in use (or even crafted yet). We thought it might be a corrupt world at first, so we made a new one. Got the same thing. Figured corrupt mods, but couldn't figure out which ones. Switched to the Direwolf20 1.7 pack. Having the same issue. We had added Rotarycraft (with required DragonAPI) and Pam's Harvestcraft to the direwolf pack, but have since removed them and had the same issues. Tick rate on the direwolf is better than on resurrection (50 vs 3k). Downloaded the Direwolf server and tried it, but it takes about 20 minutes processing files and crashes before even trying to generate/load a world.
My Java (x64) is up to date. I've restarted my computer and hers, set Minecraft to higher priority, checked "use Java arguments for faster machines", and cried. Lots and lots of crying. The lag seems to happen mostly when a new chunk generates or we've been playing for an hour or so. Also, whenever someone tried to enter another dimension, the server locks up and has to be manually closed and restarted. They'll then be in the intended dimension. There really are no crash reports to show or error logs, etc.
Any ideas on what could be causing these issues?